Wednesday, July 14, 2010

honesty

Since starting my blog, I've wanted to network with other bloggers and make connections with others like me. One of the first blogs that I followed regularly was Life After College, and since then I've read about all these people she's met through going to blogging conferences and meetings. I wanted that, so I joined a couple of blogging networks. The first, that I love so much, is

BonBon Rose Girls

The girls who run this group are fabulous. They're so good about reading your posts and then responding. I really feel like I'm already starting to make connections because of this. Also, they do tons of giveaways, and they have a bunch going on right now at their website. They feature bloggers on their site all the time. It's a neat way to find new people.

Secondly, I joined



Photobucket

I haven't had as much interaction with them, but I reference them because they inspired my blog post for today. They talked about honesty in today's post.

That post about honesty forced me to think about my blog posts and analyze myself a little. I think the wonderful think about blogging is that I can write about whatever I want and, to some extent, become whatever person I want to be. But, in some ways, I think I've attempted to write blog posts that mask what's really going on in my life and who I actually am. In the spirit of honesty, I want to tell you a little about my true self.

I often want to be viewed as perfect by those that don't know me. I want to be the girl that has everything perfectly compartmentalized in my purse and cabinets and drawers and closets. I want to always have a crisp, perfect wardrobe with killer shoes and untouchable makeup. In reality, I'm completely unorganized; My purse looks like someone else's trash can when they've just gone through their purse. My drawers aren't organized, and I rarely have a perfect outfit. These are all things that I see as points for improvement. I have a long way to go, but I think that part of becoming an adult is becoming more like the person that you want to be.

I tend to tell people that it doesn't matter what other people think. I only wish that I, myself, took my own advice. I am the worst about taking opinions of other people personally. I try not to think about it, and it's really hard to admit it, but often times, I act in ways that I think other people would approve of. I mean, it isn't everyone in the world, but people that I care about. I need to stop caring so much about what other people think, but it's so much easier said than done.

I have a lot of self-confidence and very little self-confidence at the same time. In my professional and educational life, I am very confident in what I do. I believe very much that I am capable of whatever I want to achieve, and I'm not just saying that. In fact, I think that anyone is capable of whatever they want, and most of the time the only thing that stops people is themselves. Where I do not have this same amount of self-confidence is in my personal life. With my friends and my boyfriend, I worry a lot about what I do and what I say and whether someone likes me or someone is mad at me or I did something wrong. It causes me a lot of anxiety and stress.

Speaking of anxiety, I cause my own anxiety quite a lot. I have started to have little OCD tendencies about locked doors and unplugging appliances, and it does scare me a little bit. I try as best I can not to feed those tendencies, but I have gotten more than ten minutes from my house before and turned back. I have hypothyroidism and can't seem to keep it under control all the time, and sometimes that and the anxiety work together to turn me into an emotional wreck.

I'm working on all of these things, and I think that I make progress each day. 

Aside from the hard things, there are a lot of things that I love about myself and I'm proud of myself for. It just isn't as easy to write about the stuff I love as the stuff I don't. 

A few things I love about myself:
I'm open-minded
I work hard to be a good friend
I'm trustworthy and dependable
I'm (almost) always on time

I hope to balance my blog between fun and serious, as many wonderful blogs I've been reading have accomplished. I can't wait to continue getting to know more of the bloggers I've started to interact with, and I look forward to continuing to share myself with you honestly and openly with all the fun too.

What are some of your favorite things about yourself? What are some things about yourself that you aren't as satisfied with and work to change?

Next stop...San Francisco!

2 comments:

Amber said...

Great post! I saw the Lady Bloggers' post today and loved it as well. I'm going to have check out the first blogs you mentioned too. :)
I'm the same way that you are in the OCD. My OCD seriously makes me late to work sometimes. I'll be halfway down the stairs and wonder if I remembered to turn off my straightener.. even though I know I did, something tells me that I NEED to go double check. It's annoying!

Kristin said...

Thanks for the mention doll! And you're already doing a fabulous job with your balance. Have faith in yourself!